Don’t Be Patchman

A friend of mine just launched a Kickstarter campaign for his game, Don’t Be Patchman, which will be available for Linux, OS X, Windows, Android, and iOS. It looks awesome, but it’s not getting enough attention. Kickstarter’s “magic” sorting algorithm still places it behind a bunch of utter crap (e.g. Girlcraft, “Minecraft for girls”, which, besides perpetuating the concept of gender predetermining interests, is a piece of crap with no information, no gameplay footage, no prior history of making games, and no chance in hell of making $50,000 in the next 9 days when it hasn’t received a single cent), which is unfair and infuriating. So he needs all the exposure he can get. Even if it’s just on an uber-unknown web serial site like this.

“The Sheeple are in trouble – they’ve been enslaved by the Drones – and it’s all Patchman’s fault! Now it’s up to you to redeem Patchman, rescue the Sheeple, and uncover the awful secret behind the Drone army. Stay out of sight, wear clever disguises, search the forest for seeds, grow fruits and plants, tear down propaganda, awaken the Sheeple to break the control scheme, and power down those nasty robots! All that and more awaits in Don’t Be Patchman, a sneak-and-grow action/adventure game.”

TL;DR: Donate, unless you want Lucifer to eat your soul deep-fried in peanut butter, basted with chocolate, and lightly drizzled in caramel.

P.S. Also, there is a new chapter today. Click here, after you debate whether or not you should be Patchman, and whether or not it’s really possible to deep-fry things in peanut butter. Does it only work with oil, or can you use any liquid food item? I don’t know. But Lucifer does, and trust me, he will not hesitate to deep-fry your soul in peanut butter, provided that’s physically possible.

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3 thoughts on “Don’t Be Patchman

  1. Pan

    Fantastic looking game.. really love the idea, and how its being realized. I’m a big fan of pixel art too 🙂
    The very best of luck to the team with this. Ill have a keen eye on progress

  2. CreationMyth

    It is a bit of a mystery why this game is buried… maybe Kickstarter is telling us we should back Girlcraft instead? No thanks! 🙂


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